The NBA kicked off its second “Green Week” on April 1, and with it, they ushered in another blitz of headbands, wristbands, warm-up shirts and public service announcements encouraging us to “go green” with the NBA. As with pretty much every NBA initiative, Green Week is overwrought and over-styled.

The Style

Melo headband

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Green Week in the NBA is typified by the accessories. If this is what an influential organization like the NBA thinks the environment is all about, Planet Earth is in trouble. It seems that the league has determined that “going green” literally means the color green. The result? The marketing minds at NBA headquarters decided that the best way to demonstrate their commitment to Green Week is by replacing Carmelo Anthony’s usual powder blue headband with a dark green, 45 percent organic cotton headband and switching Lebron’s shoelaces to green. Of course, nothing says “environmental awareness” like coordinated green wristbands and socks—particularly when combined with J.R. Smith‘s sunshine yellow Nikes.

JR Smith shoes

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The whole look is kind of horrid. That forest green is unflattering to basically every skin tone, and clashes with nearly every NBA uniform, with the possible exception of the Milwaukee Bucks and maybe the Boston Celtics (though it’s not really close to Celtic green at all). Plus, the fiber combination in the “green” headbands looks quite similar to 1970s velour, which is never a positive. The Denver Nuggets were especially unfortunate to be featured in Green Week’s kickoff game on TNT, because they’re already such a symphony of colored neoprene and shiny material that the green accents made it look like the equipment manager was inebriated before the game.

Blazers huddle - Pendergraph

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And, of course, we also are treated to what the NBA Green Week website calls “50 percent organic polyester shooting shirts.” What likely contributes to their sustainability is that “organic polyester” is actually impossible (since poly is, you know, a synthetic), thus saving on all the energy and materials involved in their manufacture—since they don’t actually exist. (Sarcasm aside, I am fairly certain that the shirts are actually recycled polyester. Sadly, it appears that the NBA marketing department doesn’t understand that the two terms are not actually interchangeable. Imaginary shirts would be the ultimate in “green” apparel, however.)

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Probably the worst example of Green Week apparel was exhibited by the Cleveland Cavaliers, who, during Sunday’s game against the Celtics, looked like they were ready to burst into a very special rendition of Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You, not as if they were encouraging fans to recycle. (Incidentally, how many folks would absolutely not have been surprised if the Cavs had actually done something along those lines for their Christmas Day game?) Why on Earth they decided on their dark red, gold-accented uniforms for their Green Week appearance, when the team has approximately 127 different uniforms at their disposal, is simply beyond comprehension. Interestingly, the Celtics, for whom green accessories would actually coordinate with their ensembles, wisely eschewed the Green Week accessories in that same game.

Really, little about the aesthetics of Green Week works. The dark green shoelaces many players laced up their sneakers with look black in person and on television, so no one even knows they’re supporting Green Week, while the deeply-pigmented socks, wristbands and headbands don’t exactly scream “natural” or “organic,” while the gray shooting shirts simply don’t look like they belong at a sporting event, nor do they appear “natural”—they’re drab, uninspiring and make even the elite athletes of the NBA look frumpy.

The Substance

NBA Green Week

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It would be easy to mock the unfortunate stylings involved in NBA Green Week, but there’s also an awkwardness in their message as well — which I discovered when I was looking for information to include in my usual NBA Style Alert snarkfest. The seemingly-inherent excesses of the NBA are amplified by the league’s attempt at their Green Week message. The sheer quantity of “stuff” produced to celebrate Green Week is mind boggling: the stanchion covers, T-shirts, wristbands and headbands. All of these things had be milled, assembled, dyed and transported, none of which can be considered “green.”

Even more distressing is that while the NBA is sending fans that message that they can buy their way into sustainability through organic cotton NBA branded socks and partially recycled basketballs, while not doing a whole lot as a league to reign in their massive consumption of stuff, much of which isn’t too Earth-friendly.

If the NBA wanted to really make a “green” statement next year, they would perhaps consider moving their jersey manufacturing back to the U.S. (less fuel needed to ship them, better environmental protections), realigning the divisions to reduce air travel, better planning of road trips to also reduce air travel (supposedly, this year they reduced air travel, in order to cut costs, but every team is still making one-stop road trips) and offering more fan merchandise in “green” materials on as a matter of course, rather than as a one-off. Why not have gear for the players made out of partially organic and recycled materials every game, instead of just one week out the year? At least one NBA team, the Portland Trail Blazers, is composting the food waste at their arena, but what about all the waste created at other NBA venues?

Chris Andersen taking off in his monster truck (literally, the dude drives a monster truck) after being pelted in the face with a Green Week lapel pin, doesn’t exactly do a whole lot to demonstrate that the players themselves are taking the message to heart either. No disrespect to “the NBA’s resident hippie” (yes, that’s how Rick Kamla described Steve Nash on NBATV when introducing a feature about his environmentalism), but when researching what was intended to be a light-hearted look at the aesthetic failure of Green Week, I didn’t find much discussion of how the players themselves are taking this message to heart and modifying their lifestyles to be more environmentally-conscious.

None of this critique is intended to make light of the NBA’s partnership with the National Resources Defense Council, because I am sure the organization benefits greatly from the exposure related to their involvement with the NBA, as well as the funds raised from the Green Week auction. However, imagine how the muscle of the NBA could be leveraged to make a meaningful impact on environmental awareness if they truly changed their practices to reflect a commitment beyond the materialism of one week each season.

Okay, enough seriousness… Let’s get back to some style.

Random Style Blips

· Speaking of Green Week, did you get a look at Lebron’s sneakers made coordinate with the drabness of the recycled polyester shooting shirts? These kicks remind me of playing middle school girls basketball in 1990 and only having white or gray basketball shoes available in girls’ sizes. Why anyone with a Nike contract would choose to wear boring gray sneakers is beyond me.

· MTV made the unfortunate decision to broadcast their latest edition of the NBA edition of Cribs during Green Week. The fountains, sneaker rooms, marble showers and car collections didn’t exactly scream, “sustainability.” Ouch. Thanks to that show, however, I did find a kindred spirit in Danny Granger who was very excited to be showing off his collection of Chuck Taylors.

Brandon Roy beard

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· Looks like after several seasons of failed attempts, Portland All Star Brandon Roy is finally successfully growing a real beard. His previous attempts would best be described as “unfortunate” — particularly his “playoff beard” he, along with Steve Blake and Sergio Rodriguez, grew in advance of the team clinching the playoffs in 2009.

· When I wrote my first NBA Style Alert about the NBA’s Over-Accessorizers, I completely forgot about Rondo. The dude has got to be near the top of the list, with this weird spandex situation on his legs (I call it DIY tights, basically a makeshift way around the league’s tights ban).

· I think I watched ten minutes total of the NCAA tournament this year (I try to watch every year, but the downgrade in play from what I’m used to watching is kind of intolerable), but was absolutely not surprised that Carmelo Anthony‘s alma mater had the silliest-looking accessories in the tourney — even bi-colored shooting sleeves!

· Am I just now noticing, or are mouth guards getting more colorful and styled? While most guys opt for guards that are either clear or in their team’s main color (such as Chris Paul), it seems that more and more are using multi-colored or just plain weird mouth guards. I have noticed stripes, blacked out teeth and other flair in the last couple of weeks.

· I’m betting that I’m not the only person who does a double-take each and every time Kenyon Martin is in shown on television in business casual, thinking he’s a random new assistant coach on the Nuggets’ bench. He just doesn’t look like Kenyon Martin without the headband.

Channing Frye and Grant Hill

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· Grant Hill has been accused of using Just for Men on his hair; after examining the photographic evidence, I’m undecided, but suspicious. Very suspicious.

Sarah Moon is a Portland-based writer and Trail Blazers fan that spends way too much time contemplating the style hits and misses of NBA players. She also holds out hope that one day Channing Frye will triumphantly return to Portland — and run for Mayor. Follow Sarah’s thoughts on basketball, life in Portland and other random musings and rants on Twitter.

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