A discussion in the Hoops Hype Forums got me thinking. Someone erroneously remembered the incident where a Yahoo! Sports boxscore writer decided to have a little bit of fun and described Robert Horry’s reason for not playing as DNP – too fat.
In fact, the actual reason given on the Yahoo! boxscore was DNP – old age!, which I find even more hilarious. NBA Fanhouse covered the story at the time, via Truehoop (Henry Abbott is always on the ball).
So yes, this got the finely tuned wheels turning in my head on what other little party tricks the boxscore henchmen could throw in there to make us laugh. As an NBA fan there are almost too many jokes that could be made from this perspective, so I’m going to throw a few out there and leave it to you the reader to come up with some more in the comments below, or via the A Stern Warning Forums.
Eddy Curry : DNP — Gymnastics World Championships
If you missed this little revelation, New York Knicks’ fan favourite (*cough*guffaw*) Eddy Curry, once had a dream. His dream was to be a gymnast of the highest order, swinging his agile body over a pair of parallel bars and tumbling across a floor mat with a streamer flying in one hand.
Reggie Evans : DNP — hand caught in a mouse trap
Wedgie Evans landed his place in infamy for putting his hand in places it is not supposed to go. The video below says it all. I’m not saying he hasn’t learnt from his mistakes, but perhaps if he wakes up late one night looking for a midnight snack, he might get caught out.
Gilbert Arenas : DNP – strained fingers
Agent Zero, aka Hibachi, aka The Black President and countless other nicknames, is an admitted video games addict. He loves himself some Halo (some would argue I could have cut that sentence short at, “he loves himself”) and he has even secured himself an NBA Live cover — something he cherished so much that he came out to announce it whilst his team was struggling in a playoff series against the Cleveland LeBrons. He even admitted to turning up to at least one game, in 2005, tired as he had been up all night prior, playing video games. Don’t be surprised if Gilbertology ever gets a DNP due to sore gaming fingers and thumbs.
Brook Lopez : DNP – snowed in at the Neverland Ranch
Lopez, also known as “the Lopez twin that got drafted first”, once once asked by Sports Illustrated which singer/band he would like to be a roadie for. He chose Michael Jackson. I’ll leave the rest of the subtext of that one to you (including gratuitous twins jokes etc).
Hit us up in the comments or the forum with your best and worst DNP suggestions.